Cease Battle

For 3 and a half years, It has felt like I have been battling professionals and I have done nothing wrong. I have grown so much since the beginning, learned a lot and probably completely changed, my other half and I have reversed roles. I was always quiet and reserved. Him more outgoing and would complain if he felt things were not right.

After release from prison I thought things would be easier, how wrong I was. The professionals in a child in need meeting two months ago were horrific, telling us what we couldn’t do, nothing in the meeting about our son and how well he is. Just my other half will never come home despite having had an independent forensic risk assessment completed and funded by children’s social care, so negative.

It took two weeks to get our heads around what to do next as we were so triggered from this meeting. We decided to complain about how the meeting was held and an error in Somu reading out my husbands shpo incorrectly. A meeting was held with the social worker and her manager and my husband and myself following the complaint, we openly spoke of our concerns, how other professionals were biased and clouding others judgements, how the meeting was nothing about our son and that the Shpo was read out incorrectly. Social worker looked at the shpo and had a sort of”Oh S**t” moment, she said she needed to take legal advice on this.

Next CIN meeting was a week after the complaint meeting and I can honestly say we have never had a meeting like this, it was focused on our son and no one had anything negative to say towards us. a total transformation. Probation needed to visit my home which happened just over a week ago then I emailed SW and said they had visited and could my husband start visiting the family home on Easter Saturday, to my surprise she said yes, she visited and explained she wants to close the case but will do an assessment first and will word it so we have progression and then overnight stays then home for good. It could take 12 months but at least now we have an end goal. Realistic end and I would encourage anyone who feels things are not right to complain, don’t let these people walk all over us, thinking they have the power, when actually we know our family best, what’s right for us, how safe our children are.  My advice to them was step back a little, look at the bigger picture not just a snippet. How attitudes changed in just one month.

Please have hope and follow your instincts, push back and even complain, I didn’t think I had it in me, it’s worked because I know we are right. For the moment battles have ceased and when I say battle I have never shouted or swore as much as I have felt like it, I have just discussed, researched then when I have felt I’m right I have challenged and pushed back, not having a battle is a strange feeling in itself after being on high alert for so long. I have to end this by saying finally on Saturday my husband was allowed to spend time in the family home for a few hours this too felt strange and I think we were both a bit nervous but it was lovely and the time passed so fast, but this is the start of more to come in rebuilding our family life.

It can happen and it does happen.