Stop SO UK Charity

The wonderful Stop So Charity wrote a wonderful blog for our website to explain why and how they help and support families and their loved ones. I would like to thank John Goss, one of the trustees of Stop So, for taking the time to write this blog for our Community.

The knock. Potentially one of the most traumatic things you can go through as a

partner/family member or associate of someone who has or is about to be arrested.

One day life was ‘normal’ or as normal as can be, the next your whole world has been

turned upside down by a visit from the Police.

Potentially, for some time, your loved one has been living in, or engaged in a world you

have known absolutely nothing about.

Suddenly that ‘normality’ of life has gone, changed forever and you are about to start

your own journey of understanding, trying to piece things together like a delicate vase

that has suddenly been shattered into hundreds, if not thousands of pieces.

But where you begin? This is a new world now, one you weren’t expecting to be thrown

into and very new, very frightening. Knowing who to turn to is going to take some

consideration. What will friends and family think? What do ‘I’ think?

Time waits for no one, and this new world needs space for exploration – that anger,

betrayal, sense of loss needs a space to come out, while potentially displaying to the

outside world that everything is fine.

But who is truly going to understand what you’ve just been through? More than that,

what you might go through. This isn’t something that happens and resolves itself

quickly, it’s a process, sometimes a long drawn out one. Relationship dynamics will

change, families change, things might not be the same again. Ever.

This is where StopSO Counsellors come in. StopSO works with both offenders and

partners/families/friends – anyone affected by the offending.

We have Counsellors up and down the country who work with those affected by sexual

offending. You are on a journey, we’re here to go through it with you.

Having worked in this area for some time, we understand some of the process. More

importantly we understand some of the emotion you’ll go through, life now can be an

emotional rollercoaster, there’s so much to come to terms with and the world looks

different now.

With empathy, balancing knowledge of process in cases like this, we are here to go on

that journey with you. There’s no judgement here. Angry? Get it out. Ashamed or

embarrassed? You’re with the right person to talk about it.

Feeling lost, isolated, or alone? We’re with you.

You see, as Counsellors specialising in this area of work, we support, and continue to

support people who are on this journey. We’re ready to go on it with you.

During my time as a StopSO Counsellor, I have worked with numerous partners or family

members, and truly appreciate the journey someone goes through after the knock.

What people want from Counselling can be varied and unique to you, that’s fine as you

go on this journey. Like I said before, we’re here with you.

If you, or someone you know is affected by sexual offending from someone close to you,

let them know about StopSO and the support we offer – it could make a huge difference.

John Goss is a StopSO Counsellor and Trustee. He has, and continues to work with both

offenders and family/friends impacted by sexual offending.