It was another 24 hours before the next message came through – ‘is this true? WTF?’, a link to the article. I was in the supermarket at the till, a quick text back, I’ll ring you shortly. Driving home in a blur and bursting through the door with bags of shopping. X knows I tell OH, shit. I rang them, who told you? A link had been sent to someone in the pub, it had spread like wildfire.
OH rang his mates one by one, disbelief, shock, a chorus of ‘we know you’ve not done this on purpose’, ‘you idiot’, ‘Is S standing by you?’
My sister came round, shocked but worried for my health, the press were bastards and could we do anything – no point shutting the stable door once the horse has bolted.
We went to bed fearful, would we have vigilantes round, would we be forced to move? Days went by with messages and phone calls, he’d wound down social media in preparation. Who else knew?
I’d started to have life coaching through employee assistance at work as I knew I had reached breaking point when SS called me, a brilliant coach who suggested preparing a statement ready for any intrusive or questioning people. It covered the key facts and made clear that we didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable living near us. I think the amount I had gone through without the knock was enough to floor most people, the knock was the icing on the cake yet she was impressed by my resilience. I’m convinced I had PTSD.
Working from home I saw one of the pub locals driving slowly past the house, a neighbour down the road pointed and stared as they drove past. The local plumber went past shouting abuse out of her van, pursuing a mother and small child down the road, telling her something through her van window and pointing at the house. The poor mother didn’t know which way to go. I moved my desk away from the window, away from the pointing and staring. A friends mum came to the house with flowers, I cried.
Cutting an overgrown hedge in the garden saw me yelled at by the neighbour, ‘we have small children, we need protecting from people like you’. And there it was – I was also labelled, a risk, a predator. And it was those neighbours that were the very worst of all. The street WhatsApp group asked all members to identify themselves by house number so they could check who was in the group. The police said that the neighbours all wanted a street meeting – google recommends this if you search for what to do if I live next door to a SO. I offered to go, the police said no way. I approached another neighbour who walked past shaking his head, I reeled off my pre prepared statement, his response was we will come and talk to you in a couple of days. That never happened, they act like we don’t exist now and that suits me just fine.
Other neighbours were more supportive, one gave me a big hug. Another said ‘show me a man who’s never made a mistake and I’ll show you a liar’. It’s done with, he’s had his punishment now move on. They made sure we weren’t going to move, we were great neighbours and if others didn’t like it they should sell up.
Before he had gone to court I’d had another health issue and was on the 2 week pathway, minor surgery was needed. I was in the middle of intrusive surgery with only local anaesthetic due to my heart condition when a message came through on my smart watch, of course I read it..
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