Sometimes I wanted to scream into a pillow

On this journey I’m sure many of you will have felt or feel like this about many factors involved, well I say, DO IT!  It actually really helps!  If we don’t let our emotions out they can manifest inside, this doesn’t do any of us any good.

I remember someone once saying to me when I said that I didn’t want people to see me cry, ‘would you mind them seeing you laugh’ I said no, and they said to me 'well it’s just another emotion, think of it in the same way.' Gave me food for thought.

There were times at the start (around 3 years ago for me) that I didn’t think I’d be ever able to laugh again, I was so wrong, maybe not in the days and weeks after the knock but I have on many occasions laughed once again till my belly hurts!  Life moves on and turns so many different corners, things never stay the same.  I truly believe we’re on the life path that is meant for us, unfortunately some get tested or go through more pain than others along the way and for our community this is one hell of a test.

I remember my therapist suggesting me to write 3 positive things down that had happened at the end of everyday; at first I found it hard, but then after a few days of reflecting on each day it became apparent all the things I was just not registering, often the bad seems to outweigh the good in our minds.  This really helped me. I’d make sure I did it before bed so that I went to sleep thinking about those things.

My outlook on life has now really changed for the better. I find myself in a place where I don’t care about all the small insignificant things I used to.  I look back at things that used to stress me out and wonder why on earth they did!  This has massively helped in coping with everyday life for the past few years and also helped me to focus on what is good. I am a much calmer chilled out person and it’s been noticed by all around me.

Wherever you are on this journey please believe that positive things will come in your life again, you will survive and my hope for you is that you will grow into a stronger, more resilient person.

In the meantime, just remember if you want to scream, scream! Into a pillow, in the middle of no where or down the phone to someone that will listen!!