The Fight Back

I never replied to the text.

I was still at the hospital when they put a message out on the street WhatsApp group saying they were updating security on their home and needed recommendations for CCTV and fencing companies. The passive aggressiveness of the message was there for all to see. I left the group. The neighbourhood sergeant had been stand offish and told me that we weren’t well liked when I raised it with him. He also wanted to know if we were moving and said we were to count ourselves lucky we lived in a nice area.

Friends and family rallied round, I continued to open the windows.

That text did however stir something in me. How dare they target me for something I didn’t know about, didn’t condone and had made myself ill over when agonising whether to stay or go. Those sleepless nights hearing children crying, feeling like a social pariah and being too scared to walk past the local school when going to the doctors or dentist. Questioning the last 20 odd years of our relationship, had I missed something, were there any signs I should have seen? How dare all those people who pointed and stared at the house make me feel like the worst person possible. The OH didn’t get ANY of this, he just carried on going to work, the gym, keeping his head down. That article had been written to cause maximum damage, people were believing every single word and didn’t know the context – that bit didn’t matter.

The neighbours lost the plot, if either of us went in the garden there was a carry on, kids were ushered in, voices were raised. Going to the car became a game of duck and dive. The man watched me in the garden from an upstairs window, if I sat out on a sunny day the wheelie bins would be shoved in the hedge to block any possible gaps. They wanted to erase us from existence. The woman would sit on a chair in the middle of the garden staring at our house when she had the kids playing out. One of my exercise classes moved premises, limbering up I was shocked to see the man walk past. Damn, he saw me and stood guard outside the window while I did my exercises. Worried glances amongst the other ladies as to who this man was stood there with his phone out, shame and embarrassment to know I was the cause of it. It turned out their kids were at a lesson there, he was making sure I didn’t leave the room to grab his kids. My other neighbour told me they had been to see him, to make sure he knew about us, he sent them packing. God knows who else they told, who else’s door they had knocked on to spread the word. The police told me to keep a diary of everything they did, they would be dealt with by the judicial system themselves if they didn't pack it in.

False allegations flew. The police rang OH and the conversation started with ‘We know it’s not true, but…’ he had moved out apparently. he hadn’t, he had started his new job, shift work. We always had children round too, again all lies as the relationship with my niece had stalled and I’d made sure we had no visitors with kids, and with none of our own we were SHPO compliant. Dog poo was left on my car by the plumber. I caught her about to do it again one evening and stood over her until she picked up every last piece. She never said a word, spineless bitch.

The investigating DC returned our property. Told me he knew it had been accidental, to move on with our lives. Rolled his eyes when I mentioned the neighbour issue, they had a hotline to his department but they were told nothing. Armchair police officers who think they can do the job for him.

Christmas was coming, I broached the subject with family. They wouldn’t be coming this year, it was too soon. An almighty argument and tears, again I was being punished. I said if they didn’t come that year there would be no future offers. I booked a hotel, we crept off late on Christmas Eve and spent the night in the hotel eating chocolates and watching crap telly. We met up with his mum for lunch the next day. She had found out a couple of months after the article, it had slowly made its way down to his home village and someone had told her in the local café. I'd answered the phone call from her. He’s an idiot, just like his dad she had cried but stuck by him. His brother and pious sister in law not so understanding.

More allegations followed, I was watching the kids from the bedroom window apparently, the police turned up on my doorstep to speak to me, not them. I counteracted with all my evidence from their campaign of harassment. They went ahead with their fence, chopped our hedges back, the ones I wasn’t allowed to cut, creating more gaps and screened us off with a high fence. They called the police and told them we had made the gaps in the hedges to gain access to their children! We didn’t have to duck and dive anymore but it was dangerous getting off the drive and I’d noticed it was across the boundary line, the text had said it would be on their side.

The harassment continued, their kids used as weapons against us with balls bouncing and screaming and shouting when they were in the garden. We had friends round for a barbeque, low music so we could talk without being overheard. The noise cranked up next door with the ball banging. A friend jokingly said they will have the pots and pans out like the NHS clapping, sure enough they started banging pans on the other side of the fence, we all laughed. Laughing our friend said they will be bringing out the drums next and yep, you guessed it – a kids drumkit was dragged out and banged on. The laughter quietened down on our side of the fence, our friends glancing around worried, they are listening to us they said. We know.

The money saved up in lockdown in case of a custodial sentence came in useful, a surveyor came, yes it was over the boundary. A solicitor was instructed as were the council. A letter from the council arrived, it was contravening planning due to its proximity to the highway, it needed to be reduced. The deadline came and went, an enforcement notice followed along with a letter from my solicitor regarding the boundary. The man hacked the fence down next to the road but left it across the boundary. She wheedled and sucked up to the solicitor, played the victim, turned nasty when it fell on deaf ears. The solicitor forwarded me all emails, staggering that a teacher, this safeguarding expert could be so nasty and vindictive. That such a credible person was a downright dirty liar, telling our solicitor that both myself and OH had received official warnings from the police for watching their children from the window. How she had a great relationship with the sexual crimes unit. I rang the PPU, he assured me there was no great relationship, she was told nothing. The local police also confirmed no warnings had been issued against either of us, no action had been taken with her lies.

They also said the fence had been removed from our property, it still stood there, defiant.

I outed myself to my team at work including the mums I’d been so worried about sitting between when I first went back. One by one I told them what had happened and what was still happening. Their support was incredible, we cried together, some were angry at how OH had been prosecuted for an error of judgement. Another confided in me that their grandad had been on the SOR after a false allegation from a family friend. They had stood by him, seen the abuse he got. They didn’t judge me, they checked in to make sure I was ok. My new line manager who had worked with me on and off over the years said I was the best actress he’d ever come across as he had never guessed the trauma I was hiding. The relief I felt at being able to stop hiding was immense. OH was embarrassed that I’d shared our news with my colleagues but understood I needed the support.

It finally felt like we were taking back some control but something was still niggling me…